Thursday, 18 February 2010

BE HAPPY PARENTS

THE HABIT OF sleeping at night is the result of training. It is not a gift from nature. A newborn baby sleeps all the time, with short interruptions which occur just as often at night as in day time. So the very small child, even more than the adult, needs to learn the habit of sleeping at certain times. To make your child accustomed to sleeping at appropriate times, you should follow the following rules :

(1). Teach him to end the day calmly. Let him play quiet games, or take him on your lap and tell him a story or show him pictures in a book. Movies and television disturb a child's sleep just as they do that of teenagers.;

(2). Put your child to bed at the same time every night. Don't let him stay up after this time.;

(3). Have something that you always do just before the child goes to sleep, so that he knows when it is his bedtime. It can be giving him a bath, folding his clothes on a certain chair, getting his books ready for the morning, if he goes to school, or a quarter of an hour's reading in bed. Then at 8 o'clock or 9, or 9:30 (but never later), put the light out with no argument.

I know a baby a few months old who was given a music box. His mother used it when the small child was ready to sleep. As the baby heard the music, he got used to going to sleep.

Never send your child to bed as a punishment. Sleep must be looked on as a pleasure, and bedtime as a happy occasion. Don't make the mistake, either, of letting a child lie in bed after it is time to get up. Of course, it is pleasing to the mother to work while her child is still in bed, but the little one may start bad habits, such as biting his nails or wetting the bed.

If your baby doesn't want to go to sleep, and cries or moves about in his bed, decide first whether he has a trouble with hist stomach or there is an open safety pin hurting him. When you have found nothing wrong, look for the psychological reasons.

Any small child can became anxious or frightened. People say that a baby's fear of the dark comes from our ancestors. Primitive people feared the dark. To prevent the mysterious powers of the night from harming them, they developed some beliefs involving evil spirits. Deep down in our unconscious mind, we all have the same fear. A child feels more than an adult. If he is three or four years of age, he will say that he is afraid of "devils, wolves or thieves." It is a way of giving a reason for his fear. Hedoen't know why he is afraid. In this case you should give him confidence. Sit by his bed. Hold his hand and talk to him. He needs protection. If you take advantage of his fear, you will only make it worse.

Newborn babies can only show their feelings by crying. "I never leave a child to cry," says the director of a childcare clinic in Paris. The director is a psychiatrist. He knows that a child from the time it is born, can suffer from vague, hidden anxiety. This is the first sign of fear.

He once had to look after a baby for a few days. "I took a piece of his mother's clothing, and wrapped it around the child. You could see he knew the cloth, perhaps because of its familiar smell. The baby went to sleep at once."

If you have to leave a small child who is sensitive or restless, try wrapping him in something you have worn. He will feel as if you are protecting him. This method will be almost as good as your presence.

Whatever makes the child feel safe helps to put him to sleep. If the child sleeps alone in a room, leave the door wide open. He will hear voices and familiar household noises, see a bit of light, and feel "protected". The child will sleep best behind a screen, through which he can see something of what is going on around him.

Normal household noises do not disturb a baby. The child used to sleeping in a silent room becomes easily upset by household noises.

If the baby becomes used to being rocked, the mother loses some of her freedom because she always has to spend time making the baby go to sleep.

When travelling, take all the bedtime things your child is used to : his playthings, blankets, brush and comb. The articles will make a strange place seem like home for the little one.

Naturally you would prefer him not to such his thumb. Try and persuade your child to give up this bad habit, but don't try too hard, for this, too, has its part in thecornforting bedtime "ceremony" like the toys he holds in his hand, or the doll that shares her bed.

An afternoon sleep is good for children of all ages. An hour's rest after a meal, even without going to sleep, also helps teenagers to work better at school.

Refusal to go to sleep (or to eat) is often the only way your child can make you know he is unhappy. When he uses such a refusal as a protest, it is not always good to tell him that he is naughty. If he complains . It is because something which he does not understand has disturbed him. It might be the arrival of a new baby, or his parents having an argument.

If you want your child to sleep peacefully and be happy, avoid arguments and quarrels. Love each other. Be happy parents.

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