The only humans who are not afraid are babies. But they quickly learn how to be afraid. Kevin, a boy of six, had always been happy to go to bed. He suddenly became a fraid of the dark. Now he always wanted a light in his bedroom. Some times he walked around the house at night and turned on other lights. His mother thought that he would quickly forget his fear, but after six months she talked to her doctor. The physician talked with Kevin. He then told the mother that a baby sister had told Kevin about "the sandman" who comes in the dark to sprinkle sand in children's eye to make them sleepy. Kevin turned the lights on in order that "the sandman" wouldn't sprinkle sand in his eyes.
When Kevin's mother understood why he was afraid of the dark, she told the boy that the sandman was no real; he was only an imaginary character in a story for small children.
Fear helps us to be careful when there is a possibility of physical danger. Because a child is afraid of water, he is careful when he is swimming. The child who is afraid of falling is careful when he climbs a tree.
Fear can increase our physical and mental energy. Because of fear, a boy who was only 45 kilogrammes lifted the back end of a car to rescue his brother from under it.
What happens to the body when a person is afraid ? The heart works harder and pumps more blood to the muscles. The person breathes more quickly so that the body receives more oxygen. The pupils of the eye become smaller so that the person can see better. The liver releases more sugar so that the body has more enery. Now the person is ready to flight or to run from the danger.
What kind of fears do children have ? Arthurs J. Jersild, a psychologist investigated the fears of children from five to twelve years of age. He found that 21 % of them were afraid of mystery, the supernatural and death; 14 % were afraid of strange places and of being alone in the dark.
There are seven questions you can ask yourself to find out whether your child has normal fears or unreasonable ones.
1. Does your child always behave properly in any situation in which he finds himself ?
2. Does he behave like other children who are the same age as he is, or does he seems much younger or
to be controlling himself too much ?
3. Has he been making progress or are his speech and school-work getting worse ?
4. Has his behaviour changed recently ?
5. How long has he had his fear ?
6. If people try to help him, does he listen to them or does he refuse to listen to them ?
7. If he overcomes some of his fears, does he quickly find other things to be afraid of ?
A small child is generally afraid of sudden noises. He migt be afraid if people play too roughly with him. As he gets to know the people in his house, he might be afraid when he is left with a baby sister. However, as he gets to know more and more people he will forget this fear.
When he starts walking he doesn't want to be left alone for a long time. His understanding of the world around him is limited; his imagination is well-developed. He might become upset at certain sounds like a ringing telephone, thunder or even a barking dog.
Before he goes to school, he may be afraid of animals, especially cats and dogs. If he has a pet, it will help to overcome his fear. Sometimes moving from one house to another can frighten a child.
How can you help your child when he has these normal fears ? Have understanding of these fears because they are normal, but don't try to protect your child too much. Don't be like the mother who used to sit with her child in the kindergarten class so he wouldn't be afraid. Your child has to lear to be independent.
After the age of five a child's fear are usually based on reality. Now he enjoys making his parents afraid ! He is still afraid of the doctor giving him an injection, of being hit by older boy or of falling from the roof or a tree.
A child is influenced by his parents. If the mother is afraid when she is alone and often checks that doors and windows are shut and is upset by every sound at night, the child will also have fears that are not normal.
Parents should try to understand that a child's fears are real to him. A young child who has heard a strange noise can be just as afraid as a child who has been attacked by a fierce dog. Don't let your child see violent television films, or animals that are wounded or other frightening things. If your child sees a car accident, ask him to tell you about it as soon as possible.
Willy, who was four, was very frightened of crippled and blind people. Is this normal ? Child psychologists say "Yes". Young children are often afraid of physical injuries; some of them think that they will receive the same injuries as a punishment if they do something wrong. To help them, adults must anwer their questions so they can understand.
Four-year-old children are usually very afraid of death. Parents must help their child by being patient and understanding.
What is the best way to overcome fear ? The child who has learned to walk in spite of fallling and getting hurt will be able to overcome his fear of falling. Children must learn to face their fear and then to overcome it. This is very necessary as a preparation for every day life in the future.
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